For My Sunday Song #400, we end Mike’s Choices with The Darkness’ “The Age of Darkness”. The song is from the 2021 album ‘Motorheart’ and the song is a Japanese Edition Only track as all of Mike’s picks have been. And a great run of tracks they were. This one is different. I will leave it at that and explain more as we go.

The song is not the typical Darkness song. The themes of the lyrics is a cross between Assassin’s Creed, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and King Arthur and any other song about Knights, dragons, castles and the like. The lyrics are full of humor and it is all done in good fun and for a good laugh, but at the same time, it is really great in it’s own sweet way.

The vocals are not Justin as you’d expect…nope. This is Dan Hawkins, his brother and rhythm guitarist. His vocals aren’t falsetto like his brother, he has a much deeper, grittier tone. He almost speaks the lyrics…okay, he does speak the vocals. And yet, he does them perfectly. The music is dark, ominous and pure metal with a Tenacious D vibe as well as Sabbath so it is to be taken seriously and not at the same time. If you like Medieval Times, then this song will be right up your alley.

Give the song a listen and let me know what you think. Should it have made the final track list of the album? This might be most bizarre of the Japanese Tracks Mike gave us, but I have to admit, it is kind of cool as it is nothing like The Darkness do regularly. Now, I want to thank Mike for picking these tracks and you should go check out his website – Mike Ladano and his YouTube page for Grab A Stack A Rock. You will enjoy it all!! Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope you all have a Happy Sunday!

“The Age Of Darkness”

Dragons breathing fire
Goblins in the shire
A windswept misty mire
Preaching to the choir
In a hovel eating mud
In chainmail stained with blood
The monks are chewing cud
A mace falls with a thud

Dragons breathing fire
Goblins in the shire
A windswept misty mire
Preaching to the choir
In a hovel eating mud
In chainmail stained with blood
The monks are chewing cud
A mace falls with a thud

A cauldron full of ham
Fear the battering ram
Sacrificial lamb
Hear the drawbridge slam
Dung piles up in heaps
Dungeon master creeps
Another pustule weeps
And sleeping beauty sleeps

Stretching on a rack
Dressed in a hessian sack
Trolls whipping my back
Catapult attack
Behold my mighty sword
I’ll strike you like a chord
If you do not applaud
Bring me my reward

I wield a jousting lance
In pantaloons I prance
Minstrels yell “Pray dance!”
Dwarves look for romance
Wizards casting spells
Drinking out of wells
Making unpleasant smells
A passing merchant sells

A gauntlet for my hand
The battlements are manned
The battle plans are planned
Enemies be damned
A princess kissed a frog
Ogres in a bog
Spit roasting a hog
Dead horses to flog

The slightest scratch will fester
Chuckle at the jester
Forgive me if I pester
A medieval quester
Demons we must vanquish
Dust off the pear of anguish
Squeeze them till their heads squish
Merlin, grant me one wish

The stocks await my foes
My codpiece grows and grows
Prick of a thorny rose
And off to sleep she goes
Upon the forest bed
An arrow through the head
We all make our own bread
At 32 you’re dead

A gauntlet for my hand
The battlements are manned
The battle plans are planned
Enemies be damned
A princess kissed a frog
Ogres in a bog
Spit roasting a hog
Dead horses to flog

The slightest scratch will fester
Chuckle at the jester
Forgive me if I pester
A medieval quester
Demons we must vanquish
Dust off the pear of anguish
Squeeze them till their heads squish
Merlin, grant me one wish

The stocks await my foes
My codpiece grows and grows
Prick of a thorny rose
And off to sleep she goes
Upon the forest bed
An arrow through the head
We all make our own bread
At 32 you’re dead

Written by The Darkness