Bakteria – ‘Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!’ (1992/2009) – Album Review (The Jeff Scott Soto Series)

You know every artist has something in their catalog that they try to forget or completely ignore at least. And for Jeff Scott Soto, this is that record. Done for fun with a bunch of friends and never an intention to release it yet somehow it still got released. Recorded way back in 1992, it finally saw the light of day on November 12, 2009. What could be so bad that the artist cringes at its mention, well I am not sure how to put this. You know we discussed his R Rated, raunchy, parody album with the band Skrapp Mettle a couple weeks ago…Well, this makes Skrapp Mettle look like The Wiggles or even Sesame Street. This is NC-17 or even X-Rated material. I think I may have found the WORST ALBUM EVER MADE!!! And I am not being overly dramatic. I truly think this could be it.

Who were the perverted minds behind this project? It was Jens Johansson (Keyboards) and Anders Johansson (drums) both from Jeff’s time with Yngwie Malmsteen. On bass it was rounded out with Jonas Helborg and of course Jeff Scott Soto on vocals.

Their identities were supposed to be hidden by the aliases for the album of Pedro Herrera (Jens), Manuel Gonzales (Anders), Jesus Ruiz (Jonas) and Umberto Torres (Jeff). This mostly Swedish band was using Mexican aliases because the story behind the band was that they were the Long Lost Mexican Masters of Filth Metal called Bakteria. Not very politically correct nowadays. I don’t think this would go over well now.

It is pure and utter filth. There are songs about Beastiality (“Platypus Beastiality”), Necrophilia (“Sea Corpse” and “Hospital F#@kfest”), Sex with anything that moves, pooping, killing and castration (“Castrate With A Rusty Skate”). I’m not going to list the song titles as you can read them on the picture of the back cover, but know this is not funny in any way as they really pushed the boundaries too much on this one. Skrapp Mettle at least had a little humor, this one did not. Maybe if I was 15 and had the most twisted, sick sense of humor, but not anymore.

Musically, it is pretty freaking heavy. Uptempo, speed metal vibes at time and as the sticker says, a mixture of Metal/Sludge/Crust/Punk. All I know is it sucks. Jeff sings in almost a growl, that is deep and completely unrecognizable as it is borderline guttural vocals at times. I listened to this in the car on the drive home from work one day and I thought to myself, “If I have a wreck and die, the police and my family are going to wonder what the hell I was in to with that crap playing in my car.” I was actually a little embarrassed to be listening to it. I am a little embarrassed to actually own this and have it in the collection, but my Soto Collection isn’t complete without it sadly.

My Overall Score is a 0.0 out of 5.0 Stars! And that is being nice. It is the WORST ALBUM I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!!!

If you want to subject yourself to this…have at it…

UP NEXT: EYES – ‘WINDOWS OF THE SOUL’ (1993)

THE JEFF SCOTT SOTO SERIES:

  1. Panther – ‘Panther’ (1986) – recorded in 1984
  2. Yngwie Malmsteen’s Rising Force – ‘Rising Force’ (1984)
  3. Yngwie Malmsteen’s Rising Force – ‘Marching Out’ (1985)
  4. Kuni – ‘Lookin’ For Action’ (1988)
  5. Kryst the Conqueror – ‘Deliver Us From Evil’ (1989) / ‘Soldiers of Light: The Complete Recordings (2019)
  6. Eyes – ‘Eyes’ (1990)
  7. Eyes – “Nobody Said It Was Easy” (1990) – 7″ Single – Bonus Edition
  8. Talisman – ‘Talisman’ (1990)
  9. Talisman – “I’ll Be Waiting” (1990) – 7″ Single – Bonus Edition
  10. Skrapp Mettle – ‘Sensitive’ (1991)
  11. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘Eternal Prisoner’ (1992)
  12. Bakteria – ‘Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!’ (1992 / 2009)
  13. Eyes – ‘Windows of the Soul’ (1993)
  14. Talisman – ‘Genesis’ (1993)
  15. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘The Ballads’ (1993)
  16. Biker Mice From Mars – ‘Biker Mice From Mars (Soundtrack)’ (1993)
  17. Takara – ‘Eternal Faith’ (1993)
  18. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Love Parade’ (1994)
  19. Gary Schutt – ‘Sentimetal’ (1994)
  20. Talisman – ‘Humanimal’ (1994)
  21. Talisman – ‘Five Out of Five (Live in Japan)’ (1994)
  22. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘Between the Walls’ (1994)
  23. Talisman – ‘Life’ (1995)
  24. Takara – ‘Taste of Heaven’ (1995)
  25. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘Made in Germany (Live)’ (1995)
  26. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘Black Moon Pyramid’ (1996)
  27. Human Clay – ‘Human Clay’ (1996)
  28. Talisman – ‘Best of’ (1996)
  29. Axel Rudi Pell – ‘Magic’ (1997)
  30. Human Clay – ‘U4IA’ (1997)
  31. Talisman – ‘Truth’ (1998)
  32. Takara – ‘Blind in Paradise’ (1998)
  33. Talisman – ‘Live as Sweden Rock Festival’ (2001)
  34. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Prism’ (2002)
  35. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Holding On E.P.’ (2002) – Bonus Edition
  36. Humanimal – ‘Humanimal’ (2002)
  37. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘JSS Live at the Gods 2002’ (2003)
  38. Talisman – ‘Cats & Dogs’ (2003)
  39. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Lost in the Translation’ (2004)
  40. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Live at the Queen Convention 2003’ (2004)
  41. Talisman – ‘Five Men Live’ (2005)
  42. Soul Sirkus – ‘World Play’ (2005)
  43. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Believe in Me E.P.’ (2006) – Bonus Edition
  44. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Essential Ballads’ (2006)
  45. Talisman – ‘7’ (2006)
  46. Journey – ‘Live from Atlanta (Bootleg)’ (2006)
  47. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘B-Sides’ (2006)
  48. Redlist – ‘Ignorance’ (2007)
  49. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Beautiful Mess’ (2009)
  50. Jeff Scott Soto – “21st Century” / “Gin & Tonic Sky” CD Single (2009) – Bonus Edition
  51. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘One Night in Madrid’ (2009)
  52. Trans-Siberian Orchestra – ‘Night Castle’ (2009)
  53. W.E.T. – ‘W.E.T.’ (2009)
  54. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Live at Firefest 2008’ (2010)
  55. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Damage Control’ (2012)
  56. W.E.T. – ‘Rise’ (2013)
  57. W.E.T. – ‘One Live in Stockholm’ (2014)
  58. SOTO – ‘Inside the Vertigo’ (2015)
  59. SOTO – ‘Divak’ (2016)
  60. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Retribution’ (2017)
  61. Sons of Apollo – ‘Psychotic Symphony’ (2017)
  62. W.E.T. – ‘Earthrage’ (2018)
  63. SOTO – ‘Origami’ (2019)
  64. Sons of Apollo – ‘Live With the Plovdiv Psychotic Symphony’ (2019)
  65. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Wide Away (In My Dreamland)’ (2020)
  66. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘Live and Loud in Milan 2019’ (2020)
  67. Sons of Apollo – ‘MMXX’ (2020)
  68. SOTO – ‘Revision’ (2020)
  69. W.E.T. – ‘Retransmission’ (2021)
  70. Jeff Scott Soto – ‘The Duets Collection, Vol. 1’ (2021)

33 thoughts on “Bakteria – ‘Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!’ (1992/2009) – Album Review (The Jeff Scott Soto Series)

  1. Wow.
    I pressed play on this on Spotify and skipped and skipped and skipped and skipped and fast forwarded.

    This album is a turd alright.

    Perfect rating for this. I don’t call this album “doing something for fun”. It’s not something I’ll do for fun. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There was another group that pretended to be a Mexican drug cartel, Brujeria were guys from Faith No More, Fear Factory and other bands. The difference between Brujeria and this is that Brujeria actually recorded music. I don’t know what the hell this is or why anyone thought they shouldn’t destroy the recordings when they were done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Glad you felt this way. Otherwise would have wondered about your sense of humour. What I have read/heard Jens has a peculiar sense of humour.

    Agree with Deke, should try sneaking this one in as the last one to sign….even if for just to see the reaction.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When I saw the title it reminded me of an indie record store i used to go to back in the day. You’d walk in and every time there’d be this vinyl record on the shelf called “Songs About Fucking.” It had a cartoon of a woman having a particularly intense orgasm. Turns it was by a band called Big Black and it’s pretty well regarded

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is ridiculously horrific. Years ago on a camping trip with friends, I put every vile swear word I could think of on a Scrabble game board, and everyone got a laugh out of it. Juvenile humor, absolutely. But for these reasonably-talented artists to make this album, then have it somehow released, is really astonishing.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s